dog silencer

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU
fans how they smell – you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you
attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell
like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does
have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."

It’s hard. I know. It’s like when you’re having sex and you try to
think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming.
It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or
whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I
wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like
a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying
to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog
just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly
like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer:
"Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?"

Heck, after what I’ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better
not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are
nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That’s okay.

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them.
They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But
don’t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you’re trying not to
breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They’ll likely
punch you for that if they catch on to what you’re doing.

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it’ll permeate your whole
body, and then you’ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But
don’t say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to
that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff.
Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get
stitches or something. Just don’t say it. If you do start smelling like
a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your
kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around
town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and
sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in
their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench
or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that’s
dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as
you drive – on some other weekend

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog
stuff. What puzzles me most is that I’ve never actually seen any of
these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there’s no
mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?
Maybe there’s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there.
Maybe, there’s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume.
Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply –
kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.
The big political issue during the city election is whether they should
add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don’t comment on it
though. It’s not politically correct over there. It’s like a
malnutrition issue or something. It’s like the corn dogs are probably
added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you’re thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am
in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I’ll bet the people here smell just like
boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe’ or some fancy Cajun food." But just
stop thinking that. That’s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn
dog odor. And don’t try masking the odor with something stronger.
They’ll curse at you. They’ll say something like: "WTF, how dare you
smoke a cigar in my home," or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of
corn dogs?" and they’ll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister
fancy pants over here acts like he doesn’t want to smell like corn dogs."

Cajuns are not like us. Don’t you see that, yet? They are really
sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know
they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all.
I know, I know. We sniff the bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole
messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don’t press
your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don’t refer to Death Valley as corn
dog valley either. I mean that’s just wrong. Even if you’ve been
drinking, they’ll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction –
even if you’re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football,
or sex or whatever. If you can’t control yourself and you must laugh
though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their
corn dog body odor from a distance or that you’re choking on it or
something. They’ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus
building over just one snort.

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each
other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams.
You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed
my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this
Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let’s play ball…
Fight On!!

Fight On! Fight On!!! Fight On to Victory!!
LSU Fans are corn dogs

Ha Ha

dog silencer

If its tourist season, why can’t I shoot them?
If vegetarians eat only vegetables, then what do humanitarians eat?
Military intelligence….
If a persons kills their clone, is it murder or suicide?
Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything painted on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to get away?
If this is the land of the free, why is somone always trying to sell me something?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
If you choke Smurf, what color does he turn?
Why do they call it a TV set, when ther is only one of them?
You know how most packages say open here. What’s the protocol if it says open somewhere else?
How do you know when you’ve run out of invisible ink?
If a vampire can’t see himself in a mirror, why is his hair always so neat?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
There are 365 days in a year, yet there are 52 weeks consisting of 7 days each, which equals 364 days. Where does that extra day go?
If I break the laws of Physics, do I go to jail?
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
You know that little indestructible black box used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
good questions huh!! star if you likw questions.
not knowldge recreation!

dog silencer

Did You Ever Wonder?:

1. If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

2. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

3. When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?

4. How did a fool and his money GET together?

5. How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

6. If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

7. What’s another word for thesaurus?

8. Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injection?

9. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

10. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

11. How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

12. Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

13. When you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

14. Do blind Eskimos have seeing eye sled dogs?

15. Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

16. What do they use to ship styrofoam?

17. Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

18. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

19. If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

20. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

dog silencer

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Aren’t all generalizations false?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling "Movie! Movie"?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
How can there be self-help groups?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
How do you know when you’re out of invisible ink?
If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

dog silencer

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer?

If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?

If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing a triangle in the air?

If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb?

If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?

If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow?

If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?

If cats and dog didn’t have fur would we still pet them?

If corn can’t hear, why does it have an ear?

If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of?

If flowers don’t talk back to you, are they mums?

If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show?

Hitler has many questions
dont worry Hitler Pikachu has even more questions >:D

dog silencer

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

dog silencer

here are some of my:
Best answer goes to the person who replies with the funniest quote! Have fun!
You may have heard of these, or made them, this is only for fun…

Putting the laughter back into manslaughter.
When shooting a mime, don’t use a silencer or his friends will hear you.
Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.
Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.
Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you’ll be a mile away, and have his shoes.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!
I told the butcher I’d give him if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn’t. The steaks were too high.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Mary had a little lamb,
The Midwife died of Shock !
Mary had a little lamb,
You’ve heard this before
But did you know she passed her plate
and had a little more!
Reality is a hallucination caused by a lack of alcohol.
If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we’ve solved it.
How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?
Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes.
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
The only two facilities that work on the bell system are schools and prisons.
You know, the more I see of people, the more I like pigs.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggy” until you can find a gun.
A diplomat tells you to go to hell and make you happy to be on your way.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure..
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
“Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization?” “I think it would be a good idea.”
If you have a difficult task, give it to someone lazy … that person will find an easier way to do it.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow.
Real lies, real eyes, realize.
Ababbababbbabaaababbababbabab= Long Time No C
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won’t either.
Don’t judge a book by its movie.
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not meant for you.
I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want—an adorable pancreas?

dog silencer

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dog silencer

Just like that..

dog silencer

Me and my buds went in the forest and lit a bible on fire and placed the hairspraybox on it and shot at the box with a .22 rifle. It went boooooooooom! Support Black Metal!!!! Eat some pigheads and remember to replace your wine with blood. Lenge leve Norge! Fuck religion! We use the holy books as toiletpaper! Works just fine exept we don’t waste any paper..